#8 Concorde (English Version)

Freedom is an illusory feeling, a simple reflection in a puddle full of thoughts about what we are and what we want to become. A puddle, that illuminated by the moonlight, show us the image we have in the deepest of our mind and what we once had yearned for. However, when the rain drops start to fall, the image begins to fade until our memories are finally lost in the darkness.

Thomas was looking at the small puddle of rain water under his feet. It had begun to rain but he had not realized it yet. It seemed like if he was trying to see through the water to find the infinity. Unfortunately for him, he just could not.

During the last two weeks, he barely spoke and all the words that came out of his mouth were strictly necessary, for example when he was obligated to answer. He wondered whether people could really be consumed in life, and if this was the case, how could they survive year after year. He slowly realized that he had lost his dreams, projects and desires. Someone had ripped them off 6 years ago: he had no longer will to live.

The truth about Chloé was pregnant cost him a lot of time to assimilate. That evening, he had travelled from the heaven to the hell in a couple of hours. For a moment, he had felt that he could get their memories that never lived back; he thought that they could live together again even if she was having a relationship with another man; he knew that they could start a new project together again. But at the end he was completely wrong. Just like the drops were beating his coat, rain was beginning to flood the bottom of his damaged heart.

“If only she believed on me…”

But no, she had no intention to do it.

He started to walk near the Seine embankment. Unconsciously, their feet were driving him to the places and memories that his mind was automatically classified as a myth. He doubted that he had once been walking near the Seine taking the hand of his beloved girl. The Eiffel Tower was shining at his back, sparkling like if it wanted to tell him that the countdown was arriving to an end: at that point, he did not know what to think or do.

A few minutes later, he arrived to the Concorde square where it was standing a Ferris wheel which its big eye looked after the Champs-Élysées avenue. Beneath it, a young couple were kissing and for the first time of his life, he felt repugnance. It was completely unfair all what was going through. He was tired of all the hypocrisy surrounding him. After all, maybe it was not a bad idea to put a full stop to his miserable existence…

***

The National Assembly building was erected in front of the Concorde square. Illuminated by potent flashlights, it witnessed all the movements of the area acting as a fortress’ keeper. For any reason, Olivier enjoyed walking around that area: that made him feel tinny and big at the same time.

“What are you thinking about? I mean when you look at the building.”  Claire asked him by his side. Oliver stopped walking and stared at her.

“I don’t really know. It’s a feeling that I can’t describe. It’s kind and peaceful simultaneously.”

“You think that you’re nothing, but even so you know that you are the most special person that have been here.”

“Why can you think this?”

“I’m starting to know you better than you expect Olvier. I know you’re proud of yourself and inside of you there’s something that makes you feel important. I don’t know what, but I’m sure about this.”

“Sounds pretentious what you’ve said…”

“So it would be if it wasn’t for…”

“If it wasn’t for what?”

“You aren’t an egoist or conceited person. You do feel important, but every time you can, you try to help the others in exchange for nothing. You work hard and selflessly. You try to help the other without asking them anything in exchange. You have goals in this life. And even though I don’t understand you a lot of times, I know you wouldn’t never hurt or do something dangerous to the other people.”

Olivier approached Claire and hugged her. For a moment, he thought that they were just one. He was not wrong for choosing her: he was happy and life smiled him. Maybe he should turn the page of his old adventure days and start from the scratch to figure out the things by himself. He doubted he could ever use the silver object again: he had already done a lot of good things and it seemed that life was giving him a reward for all his contributions.

“Thank you Clarie. Thank you for being by my side all along even though sometime I don’t express it. I’m also happy about all we are living those last days. Maybe it is all going too fast, but I don’t care… I’m sure about my feeling and all I want is to spend a lot of time with you.”

“You will never change Olivier…”

He smiled and her could not resist kissing him. She felt the same: she knew he was the boy she had been waiting for.

However, something attracted her attention. A large shape was staying on the edge of the Concorde’s bridge looking at the Seine river. Someone with a black coat was outlined by the flashlights of the Parisian night. What she believed that was a young man was contemplating the course of the river as if he wanted to jump into and finish his days, but for any reason, he hesitated to do it. Firghtened, she decided to ask for help to her angel.

“Olivier, look at there. On the overhang of the bridge. There is someone staring at the water.” Olivier contemplated the bridge. It was indeed someone about to fall. “You must do something!”

“But, are you sure that he wants to jump?” As soon as he pronounced the question, he realized how stupid it was.

“Who the hell walks near the edge of a bridge? You have to help him, you will know what to say him. I believe in you please…”

“Ok, I will try it…”

Maybe he had no longer the time machine, but he would not renounce to be the keeper. Never.

***

Thomas was looking at the course of the river without caring about the rain. From the top of his pedestal, he started to realize that the time was passing slowly. He was like in another different dimension as if nothing was surrounding him. His desire of ending his own life was strong. He wanted to stop that was eating him away and skewer for once at all the spear that was bleeding him in the center of his heart.

But for any reason, he did not dare to do it.

He was a coward.

He knew he would not deserve it.

He did not have the right to put an end in that way. He could not do it. It had no sense. He had been dead for the last six years and this fact invalidated his argument to commit suicide: his friends had their own life, his former love had forgotten all about him and people got over his loss. What would it change this time? Nothing. Maybe some months of sorrow and that is all. It was useless to die after all. He knew that people did not need him but he owed them his life: dead people cannot pass away two times.

Therefore, he did not saw him. He approached and when Thomas realized it was too late. A man grabbed his arm and made him fall to the ground.

“I’m sorry but I had no other choice. You were gone and you didn’t react to my calls.”

The stranger helped him to stand up. His voice sounded familiar but the pain in his heat did not let him to think with clarity. Whilst falling down his head hit the asphalt.

“Let me see if you’re ok.”

Who was him? He remembered that voice from somewhere but he could not remember him. Suddenly, Thomas realized that he had already lived that situation in the past. A girl also came to join them.

“Olivier, is he ok? We are lucky that you’ve arrived on time.” The girl, spoke to Thomas. “What were you doing? We were worried about you! You shouldn’t be near to the edge of the bridge!”

“Keep calm, Claire. The guy’s ok. Please, let us know your name.”

Thomas opened his eyes and he slowly recovered all his senses. He did not know that girl, however, when he saw the face of the guy he remembered all: the hit, the course of water, the fact of knowing nothing, the loss of memories. He had lived the same situation years ago, even though this time, he was still in the present.

“You…”

“Yes, do you feel better? Do you want us to help you?”

“Stay away of me! Don’t touch me anymore! Disappear of my life for once all and leave me alone forever!”

“Listen stanger, Olivier has helped you! He has saved you! You shouldn’t talk like this.”

Thomas observed with anger to Olivier that was petrified. He wanted revenge but he wasn’t sure about him. He did not expect the things went in that way. It would not end there. Thomas finally decided to talk.

“I’m… I’m sorry for pushing you back, but I had to help you…”

The fact of hearing that voice made him feel worse. He had to get away from there as fast as he could. Olivier started to approach him and he finally reacted and he ran away towards the streets surrounding the National Assembly.

“Did you know him Olivier? He was so annoyed.”

“No” Olivier lied. “I guess that he was in shock.  Come on, let’s go home. We’ve had enough for today.”

“I didn’t understand why people try to commit suicide.”

“It’s complicated to explain…”

In the distance, Thomas stopped. He was gasping and he could not continue running anymore. He looked at the ground where a puddle was shining beneath their feet: it did not rain anymore. Finally, he understood that freedom did not exist for him: that guy took his away.